Wild Tree for Growth
I don’t want him to become a flower in a greenhouse; I want him to become a tall tree growing in the wild, with roots deeply embedded（嵌入，扎根） in the soil, absorbing nutrients（养分） from the earth. I want him to grow vigorously（强壮，充满活力的）, with lush（郁郁葱葱） branches and leaves, providing shade not just for himself but also for the people he cares about, including you.
You can’t always praise him. You mentioned that the world will adapt to his way of communication if you follow his lead. Is that how the world works? He is a man; he was born to be a pillar（支柱） of strength. If he throws a tantrum over a minor setback（小挫折）, what kind of behavioral pattern is that? Praise is necessary, but it must be done in the right way. If he does something poorly, it should be acknowledged as such, and he needs to be clearly informed of his shortcomings（缺点）. Let him know that he can improve through hard work, rather than just blindly（盲目） praising and encouraging him.
When he makes progress through his own efforts and continuous practice, not only should we commend（表扬） his achievements（成就）, but we should also emphasize and praise the process（过程） he went through, his efforts, his perseverance（毅力）, and his unwavering（坚定不移） determination（决心） to keep trying and finding solutions to problems.
Excessive flattery(过多的，奉承) will only make him vain（虚荣） and condition（造成） him to seek nothing but praise. As a result, he will become insecure（不安全感） and even develop feelings of inferiority（自卑）. Haven’t you noticed this aspect in him recently? Confidence is not built on empty compliments; it is built from the inside out, naturally. Don’t try to create a false sense of confidence for him; instead, let him gradually build confidence from within. Confidence requires many supports, and we should focus on highlighting the qualities that bolster（支撑） his confidence, such as perseverance, effort, and not giving up.
Appropriate（适当的） setbacks are also necessary. Don’t make a big deal out of every minor inconvenience（小困难）. Boys need to face challenges and difficulties. They can’t be sheltered（庇护） and pampered（宠溺） all the time, like flowers in a greenhouse. How much can you do for him? How far can you accompany（陪伴） him? At least, for now, no one in our family can make this world treat him gently. He needs to face it on his own, and sooner or later, he will have to handle everything himself. Stop saying that he is just a child. This kind of education can start now. Let him gradually realize that he needs to become strong, to be our protector.
Vocabulary
1.shelter / ˈʃeltər /
- n.居所，住处；（尤指用以躲避风雨或攻击的）遮蔽物，庇护处；遮蔽，庇护；（人或动物）收容所
- v.提供庇护，提供保护；躲避，避难；使（某人）免遭（困难，讨厌的事）；使免交税
2.pamper / ˈpæmpər /
- vt.细心照顾，娇惯；<古>给……吃得过多
- v.treat with excessive indulgence
pampered 养尊处优
pampered spoilt被宠坏的
他要成为一棵树
我不想他成为一朵温室里的花，要他成为一颗生长在野外的大树，把根深深的扎进土地里，汲取大地的养分，茁壮成长枝繁叶茂，留一片阴凉给自己也给你在乎的人。
你不能总是夸他，你说要按照他的模式和他沟通，世界会按照他的模式和他相处吗？他是个男子汉，他生来就是要成为顶梁柱的，如果一句不如意的话就发脾气，这是一种什么行为模式呢？夸奖是必须的，但是要用对的方式，他做的不好就是不好，而且要明确告诉他没有做好，告诉他通过努力可以变好，而不是一味的夸奖鼓励。等他通过自己的努力和不断地练习做出一定进步时，不但可以表扬他做好的结果，还应该重点表扬他做好的过程，表扬他的努力，表扬他的坚持，表扬他不屈不挠不断试错找到解决问题的毅力。
一味的夸赞只会让他虚荣，让他只能接受夸赞，稍有不合自己心意就发脾气，这反而让他不自信，甚至变得自卑敏感，你没发现他现在已经有这样的迹象了吗？自信不是夸出来的空中楼阁，自信是实实在在踏踏实实，由内而外自然形成的，不要试图给他营造他自信的假象，是让他从内心慢慢建立自信，而自信需要很多支撑，我们应该把重点放在这些支撑他自信的品质上，比如坚持、努力、不放弃。
适当的打击也是有必要的，不要一点不如意就觉着多大的事，男孩子就要多摔打，不要整天娇滴滴的，像是生活在温室里的花朵，你能替他做多少，你能陪他走多远，至少我们家目前没有人能让这个社会温柔待他，他需要自己面对，早晚要自己去处理这一切，不要再说他是个孩子，这种教育现在就可以开始了，慢慢的让他意识到他要变强，要成为我们的保护伞。